What makes a person a good parent? Let’s start there..

To me what makes a good parent is pretty simple. It is guided by one primary factor.

The single most powerful energy that determines whether we grow into good parents or good reiki people is our intention/motivation. Intention is energy, don’t mistake it. It is the atmosphere of our mind before we move into thought and action.

I think both in Reiki and as a parent, what characterizes us as “good” Reiki people is 2 things.. as far as intention is concerned.

First, I think “good” Reiki people (by the way.. I would probably never say “good”.. truth be told.. I would normally, I think, choose to use the word “helpful” or “constructive”.. or something like that.. but for arguments sake lets stick with “good”..) need to have an intention that embodies the 5 Reiki ideals. Kind of all squashed into one. This will always be unique to each person, but hold a similar flavor, among people that have deeply contemplated their wisdom.

Personally, I focus most on Kindness. And find the others flow easily from that base. (Plus, His Holiness Dalai Lama is my ultimate hero.. and he always states so simply and beautifully that his religion is just kindness..).

But, because I am a bit tough.. I think the other aspect that is needed is a wish to be a better reiki person. The wish to improve as a Reiki person.

As the saying goes a husband that thinks he is a good husband is not a good husband, and a husband who thinks he is not a good husband is.

Because the first husband is arrogant.

Now, I know this goes a little against our age of assertive empowerment.. but I think we can all understand this in a healthy way.. and see that if we are humble and balanced (energy wise) we do not even begin to think about whether we are “good”.. we have more inner security than that.

But, even more so, because I am tough, I would also say that actually improving is part of being a good parent and being a good reiki person. If you are really trying, you should see improvement. You should see some increase in mental clarity, inner security, happiness, kindness, perception.. something.. other wise you are either just happy with the wishing and wanting, or.. you are not practising correctly.

The great thing about reiki, though, is that you just need to do it. And you will improve.

When someone comes up to our place for a reiki treatment I do not really like to talk very much during the session (except to check in with them..) that is just my natural style. Although I may pick up on things during the treatment I think it is better to be quiet during the session.

But, I am all for having a cup of tea afterwards, if there is time, and having a chat.

The Question of Why?

One of the things that comes up at one point or another, directly or indirectly, with almost every person that comes for reiki on a regular basis for a period of time is the idea of “why”.

Why do I feel depressed. Why does my boyfriend not seem interested in commitment. Why do I react this way in that situation. Etc etc.

I remember having long conversations about the relative importance or otherwise of the question of why with my reiki teacher. And I must confess that we disagreed quite strongly.

She, believed very firmly that “why” was the most important question along our spiritual path. That we needed to honor the why within us. And that we could not fully heal without the recognition and catharsis that comes from deep contemplation of the why surrounding issues.

I on the other hand thought, and still think, that the why is useful, but like everything else can be both helpful and not, a strength or a weakness, depending on our state of mind and how each individual approaches it.

We can get obsessed about the reason we feel a certain way, or the cause of a particular habit. We need to use the curiosity within us that produces the need to know things as a tool for growth, but not prostrate ourselves to its energy. Otherwise it can turn into a power thing. A control thing.

Or even a simple matter of distraction. Where we need to constantly seek the high of an insight. A meaningful coincidence. An ah-ha moment. We can get addicted to those aspects of the spiritual path. If we are too infatuated by working out “why”.

But, we can also potentially go in the other direction.. which ultimately I think is what my reiki teacher was arguing internally against. The situation where you have no desire to seek a deeper reality. No wish to penetrate past the superficial status quo of the everyday world.

So, we need a balance.

When asked how we should hold our mind in meditation, the Buddha answered that it should be like the strings of a lute. Not too tight and not too loose.

It Just Works

The thing about Reiki is that it just works. You do not need to understand why it works, or how it works, or even believe that it will work.. for it to actually work. And if you do not believe me, give Reiki to some animals that need healing.

This is one of the aspects that attracts me to reiki. It is one of its great strengths, to me. Over other forms of healing. Like counseling for example. Don’t get me wrong, I love counseling. I nearly became a professional grief counselor. But, there are lots of healing situations where being able to receive without having to do very much is really really helpful. If you think about depression as one example. You have to be well enough to engage in counseling. (Which is where correctly prescribed medication is so helpful.. it relieves some of the symptoms, so the person can actually start talking and healing the underlying causes..)

Reiki heals without care or concern whether you understand the underlying cause. And reiki heals whether you have faith in the healing or not. It is not psychosomatic. It is just naturally occurring healing energy. Like water quenches your thirst. Reiki balances your energy systems and heals body and mind (if you do it for long enough..).

That was my thesis, anyway, when debating with my reiki teacher.

I just wanted to post quickly to say that I will be back posting a couple of times a week from now.

Things have settled into a bit of a rythmn with the family (baby is doing great! very happy.. smiling lots.. oo-ing and ah-ing.. and all that good stuff!) and the new business has moved through the start-up phase and is doing really well.. still taking almost all of my time, 7 days a week, but I feel much more relaxed about it all now.. and like I can move my focus outward again more.

I would recommend subscribing to the feed as a good way to get notification of new posts.. if you are into that sort of thing.. other wise new posts should be up around about every other day.. but still, no promises!

Hope you are all well. And your reiki path is progressing.. as you would like it to.

Talk soon.

TC