As a modern man, one of the things that is interesting is that there is no discernible rite of passage, in today’s society. I am sure, this is also true for women. What do you think?

I have been working with some friends a little bit, lately, helping them set up a website for a program they have developed. It is a special program, and originally was designed for year 9 boys, to educate them in life skills and help them grow into men. But, has grown into something much more vast.. From the site:

Given the current absence of any substantial rites of passage in the Western World, young people are left to invent their own, which are often unhealthy and unsafe. We intend to provide young people with the opportunity of experiencing rites of passage, created and guided by caring adults.

I just wonder out loud what of a world we might find ourselves if all of us had the opportunity and good fortune to complete such a journey. Read more about rites of passage and educating teens on TheRiteJourney.com

Phyl over at the healing blog on About.com has a good post up about some of the common Reiki Myths that still seep out into the reiki community.

The one about thinking being attuned to Reiki is going to open up a channel to guardian angels or spirit guides is a very common one. We still see a lot of coming through our little Reiki House that think Reiki has “guides” that are involved in the process of healing.

Ofcourse, this is probably fine if you understand “guides” as being your own inner clarity/wisdom/intuition/higher self. And as long as you are able to strengthen that wisdom without developing a split personality disorder.

Every time you choose a healthy, less selfish, more compassionate course of action/re-action the closer you take yourself to your own true and stable inner guide. We see much more clearly the truths of life when we see with kind eyes, and a warm heart.

I saw a couple of great posts today that I thought you guys might find interesting aswell. I am also in the process of developing a reader submissions section for Reiki Blogger so you can send in questions or shout outs to some great Reiki or other personal growth bits and pieces you have found that you think other Reiki Blogger regulars might also like.

1. Timothy Ferris is the best-selling author of the 4-hour work week, and is a popular personal development/productivity writer. He has an interesting interview up this week on his blog with AJ Jacobs. AJ decided to conduct a bit of a social experiment by living according to Biblical guidelines (literally) for a year. And wrote a book about his year. (Literally, by the way, includes, but is not limited to: stoning adulterers, only wearing white..)
While the interview is a lot of fun, and light-hearted, I found some of his comments very interesting, like:

I saw how the outer affects the inner

and

I forced myself to stop gossiping, and eventually I started to have fewer petty thoughts to gossip about.

and

I forced myself to help the needy, and found myself becoming less self-absorbed.

2. RT is a good friend and a fellow buddhist. He has a great post with tips about how to eat more fruit. Which is cool and everything, because finding ways to eat better is always good (especially with all this talk about how the outer affects the inner..) but, the link love is mainly to try and entice him over (with a track-back) to Reiki Blogger to explain why he disagrees with my recent post on forgiveness. (which he was heard to say, recently, over a cup of Tea with Mr Reiki Blogger himself! ~cue scoff and eye rolls~)
I have always secretly hoped that no-one would really believe any of what I wrote here, rather that it would only ever act as a compliment or beginning of some more thorough or genuine insight.. So, here is hoping RT jumps into the fray on forgiveness..

Forgiveness is the most important skill you need to live a happy life.

Some may disagree and say it is compassion, or love, or some other sacred emotion. And they would be able to make a good case, and there would be alot of benefit merely in engaging the debate.

But, to me, it is forgiveness that is the most important one.

And, it is simply a matter of context and language. I believe that in our western context and the time which we are living, it is the language of forgiveness that is the most beneficial for helping us live a happy life.

The trick and the simplicity of happiness is that it is actually inherent within us. Our natural state is one of contented happiness. That is the core of every human being.

And, when we are not experiencing life in that way, it is a distortion. Like a cloud covering the sun. Or in some people’s case concrete.

So, what we actually need to learn is how to remain in our natural state. How, not to get carried away by our thoughts and emotions, and also how to come back to our natural state when we have.

And, the great thing is that we do not have to have a strong experience of primordial contentment before we can begin. Because, every time we let go of an emotion that has carried us along, the stronger becomes the cause for the natural state to remain, and the weaker the cause for the emotion to take us away.

And, here is the magic and power and essential aspect of forgiveness.

If we are expert in the art of forgiveness we will be able to skillfully let go of any situation, any hurt or happiness (in the pleasure sense like excitement, for example) that has carried us along, when we become aware that it has happened.

I am not saying not to have any emotion. Not to have strong feelings (sighs of reliefs from the artists). That would not be a natural way.

I am just saying, to follow a natural way more clearly, do not let yourself be carrying along by the emotion/feeling. Enjoy it, or be patient with it (in the case of grief or depression, say), but do it with an open hand. Just do not try and keep it going, or force it to end.

Forgiveness keeps the mental hand open, and flexible.

If you are approaching Reiki as a self development path, or better still as a support on your spiritual path, then one turn of phrase that you may have encountered a long the way is “self honesty”.

I really like self honesty. I think it is one of the most important supports for personal growth. But, I also think it is a tricky game to play.

When we think about the “self” in this context we are talking about the relative self. The little self. Or the ego. All meaning the same thing. And our normal self is something that has gotten pretty good at having things go pretty much all its own way. But, at the same time it is also the very best witness, because it is always there. We can never escape ourselves.

I was thinking about this, while sitting listening to one of my Buddhist teachers give a talk the other night. He was saying that for him, the best person to judge whether his practise is genuine is himself. Because he always sees himself, he is always there. Whether he is feeling happy or sad, acting polite or not, he is always there. He cannot hide from himself.

And, I think this is the really positive aspect of self awareness/self honesty. Because, we carry that witness always, we can use it to keep ourselves “honest”, so to speak.

The tricky thing is, as I said above, our ego has had such a great time up until now, pretty much having free reign over our decisions, that it is very good at “acting” like it is being raw and true. When in fact it is keeping some aspects back.

Which usually shows when we justify something to ourselves. Like having lost our temper (we were being righteous..) or skipped one too many daily self treatment sessions (I should only do it when it feels “sacred”..) or whatever..

Obviously, everyone is different. And the stories are going to be different. But, everyone should approach their feelings with a little bit of skepticism, because, self honesty is a perspective not so easily won.